I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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