It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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