All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
