Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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