You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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