Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You are the jesus of drinking
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
