How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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