I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
