I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
