we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
