I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize