I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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