I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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