my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
