I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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