$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize