The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
