Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
