Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
