I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I just found puke in my bra..
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
