what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
