just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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