im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
too bad you live with your parents still
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
