Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
