ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
