question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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