I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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