I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
