What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize