can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
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