I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
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