The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Randomize