tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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