i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
