The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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