everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
