discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
