Where is the hickey?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
