i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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