Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
