Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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