You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
