You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
