I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
