Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
BRING THE BAGELS
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
