I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
