is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
it glows. i had to have it.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
