id be glad to
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
