i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Who died my cat blue again?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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