I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
