Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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