Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
