Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
