Are we in a gay sports bar?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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