i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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