Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
