I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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