Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize