Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
